Let’s start with some tough love:
If your website still looks like it was designed on a Gateway 2000 in a smoky basement while someone yelled “Comic Sans is classy!”, we need to have a talk.
I hate to break it to you—but your website sucks. And not just in a “you could do better” kind of way. We’re talking “Google is actively embarrassed to show it to people” levels of bad.
Now don’t get me wrong—having a bad website doesn’t mean your business sucks. It just means your digital presence is currently doing the online equivalent of tripping over its shoelaces while wearing cargo shorts and a Tapout shirt. In 2025.
Here’s what you need to know before you lose another customer to that weird competitor with the dancing mascot – but a WAY better user experience.
Mistake #1: It’s Slow. Like… Grandma-With-a-Walker Slow.
Page speed matters. We live in an age where people will rage-quit a website faster than a teenager quits chores. If your site takes more than 3 seconds to load, most visitors are already gone—off to find a competitor who doesn’t have their site hosted on a hamster wheel.
Google knows this. They literally use speed as a ranking factor. So yeah, if your homepage loads like it’s being transmitted via carrier pigeon, Google’s not sending traffic your way.
Mistake #2: You Built It for You—Not Your Customer
You might love that slideshow of 47 grainy photos that autoplay with a Nickelback soundtrack. Your customers do not.
Your site isn’t about YOUR feelings—it’s about helping users find what they need quickly, clearly, and without having to channel their inner Sherlock Holmes. I WILL have a followup article about this – just SMH.
Ask yourself:
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Can someone figure out what you do in 3 seconds?
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Is your phone number obvious without having to scroll like they’re on a treasure hunt?
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Do your CTAs look like buttons… or like accidental decorations?
If you’re not sure, go ask your least tech-savvy relative to try and book a service on your site. If they start sweating and muttering curse words—bingo.
Mistake #3: It’s Not Mobile-Friendly
(And It’s 2025, slick)
If your website still looks like a full-sized desktop site crammed onto a phone screen like a clown car at a circus, congratulations—you’re telling 60%+ of your visitors to go away.
Google uses mobile-first indexing now. That means it judges your site based on the mobile version first. If your mobile experience is janky, unclickable, or requires pinch-zoom acrobatics? You’re toast.
Pro tip: Open your site on your phone. If the first thing you do is squint, scroll sideways, or scream internally, it’s time for an upgrade.
Mistake #4: No SEO Basics
Look, I get it. SEO isn’t sexy. It’s not flashy. But neither are brakes on a car—and you still need those, right? It is the main reason you likely have a website – to get FOUND online. And, unsurprisingly, SEO is the primary way of making that happen.
If your website:
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Has no H1s or uses five of them on one page
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Doesn’t have meta descriptions
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Has images named “IMG_74299.jpg” – don’t EVEN get me started
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Or links that say “Click Here” like it’s 1998…
…you’re not helping yourself. You’re basically playing hide-and-seek with Google—and you are being WAY too effective at hiding.
Mistake #5: You’re Using Stock Photos from 2004
Yes, Karen, we see that happy corporate team with perfectly white teeth and three different ethnicities giving a thumbs up. Nobody believes that’s your staff.
People want real. They want to see YOU. Or your actual office. Or at least something that doesn’t scream, “We Googled ‘business people shaking hands’ and went with the first result.”
Authenticity beats generic any day of the week. Especially in local business where trust matters more than looking like a brochure for a dental insurance plan.
Mistake #6: There’s No Clear Path for Users
Think of your website like a conversation. It should guide someone from “What is this place?” to “I want to give them money.”
If your navigation is a mess, your buttons lead to nowhere, or you don’t have a clear call to action, people aren’t going to figure it out. They’re going to hit that “back” button so fast their mouse might file a workers’ comp claim.
You should have:
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One clear goal per page
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Obvious next steps
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Easy contact info (no 47-field contact forms please)
What Google Is Saying Behind Your Back
Google’s not mad. Just disappointed.
It’s looking at your slow load times, outdated layout, broken links, and lack of structure—and it’s quietly pushing your competitor up the ranks. Because guess what? That’s who’s giving users a better experience.
If you don’t want to be on the receiving end of the “we regret to inform you” email from your rankings, it’s time to fix things. You don’t have to hire a whole team of developers and designers in a NASA control room. But you do need to prioritize user experience, speed, content, and mobile.
In Conclusion (aka “Fix Your Sh*t”)
A website should be your hardest working salesperson—not the digital version of that guy in accounting who still uses AOL.
If you’re not sure where to start, just remember:
If your site annoys you, confuses you, or makes you cringe, imagine how your customers feel. And they’re way less forgiving than you are.
