We’ve all had that client.
The one who’s been “working on his site” for years. He ranks okay-ish — you know, bottom of page one if the wind is blowing the right way — and he’s super proud of it. Why? Because he’s been using automated tools like DIIB that spit out SEO tips like fortune cookies. So now he’s an “expert.”
(And hey, nothing says top-tier SEO insight like a $29/month subscription and a dashboard full of graphs in traffic-cone orange.)
Fast-forward to today: we’re just starting month three working with this guy — a doctor who, ironically, helps people lose weight. But trust me when I say the real weight he needs to lose is weight of micro-management. Because the second we tweak something — anything — on his website, the man completely short-circuits.
He gets a DIIB alert that his meta title changed or his H1 shifted five pixels left, and suddenly, we’ve set fire to the internet.
What he doesn’t see (or refuses to) is that while he’s mourning the loss of some random ranking for “Best Triangle Weight Loss Program Without Shots That Accepts Tricare,” we’ve gotten him actual traction on keywords that matter. You know, the kind people actually Google.
So I laid it out for him in terms I thought he might get:
Imagine this:
A patient walks into your office, says, “I want to lose 40 pounds.”
You run labs. You build a custom plan based on real data, actual science, your education, and experience.
And then they tell you:
“I read online that all I need is acai berries. Oprah said so.”Do you smile and nod and toss your degree in the trash?
Or do you tell them, “I can’t co-sign that. If you want real results, you need to follow my plan, not some celebrity-endorsed nonsense.”
This is what we deal with.
He’s a smart guy. Probably is smarter than me – he was probably studying physiology through those college years. Meanwhile I was hanging out at Wrong Way Corrigan’s in Greenville NC slurping bourbon and water. And only mildly concerned about what Dr Spickerman was going to have on his IBM 360 Assembler test the next day. I digress.
But in my world? The The one filled with algorithm updates, content gaps, keyword research, site architecture, and a dozen other things that don’t fit in a DIIB report? You know – the one with real world RESULTS?
Yeah. That’s my lane.
I’ve been doing this too long to get rattled by alerts from a $29-a-month SEO “copilot.” I’ve bled for rankings, gotten punched in the gut by algorithm rollouts, and dragged sites out of the SERP basement with nothing but grit, content, caffeine – and the occasional Glenfiddich with a twist.
So if he wants to keep running on autopilot because a software bot says “Your title tag changed,” then maybe he doesn’t need us. But if he wants results — not alerts — then it’s time to take off the white coat and let us do the work.
Because I’m not Oprah.
I’m not DIIB.
And I sure as hell don’t build SEO campaigns around acai berries.
