You want the truth?
You can’t handle the truth!
But since you’re here, I’m going to tell you anyway. Let’s talk about SEO expectations. Specifically, why thinking you’ll rank #1 for “plumber” (or “lawyer” or “dog groomer” or “quantum astrophysicist who moonlights as a DJ”) in a week is the kind of thinking that causes SEO people to develop eye twitches and drink before noon.
There’s a lot of marketing snake oil out there. We compete against it every frickin’ day. Plenty of SEO “gurus” have promised you the moon, and instead handed you a half-inflated balloon and an invoice. So let’s set the record straight—with just enough sarcasm to keep it fun.
SEO Is a Marathon, Not a Red Bull-Chugging Sprint
First off, Google is not Amazon Prime. There’s no 2-day delivery on rankings.
SEO takes time. Like, real time. Not “this should be fixed by Friday” time. You’re not just flipping a switch. You’re building authority, relevance, and trust with a search engine that runs on signals, not sorcery.
Yes, we do the things: optimize pages, write content, fix technical issues, build backlinks, yada yada yada. But Google doesn’t hand out #1 spots because you cleaned up your meta tags yesterday.
They need to trust you. And trust takes time. Like dating, but with fewer awkward dinners.
Keywords Matter (And Some of Yours Are Basically a Fantasy Novel)
Let’s say you’re a plumber in Raleigh (or maybe just decided you want to add it on to your OTHER services – just sayin’.) You tell your SEO person, “I want to rank for ‘plumber’ nationwide.”
Cool.
And you also expect to win the Daytona 500 next year as well? And your daily driver is a Prius? Right.
Unless your site is 20 years old, has thousands of backlinks, a boatload of content, and gets mentioned in major media outlets regularly—you’re not outranking national companies like Angi, HomeAdvisor, Yelp, and the entire cast of HGTV. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not this fiscal quarter. Not this year. Unless you have a LOT of money to spend, likely not this decade. You’re definitely NOT going to do it with a $500 or $1000/month budget. Ever.
What is realistic? Ranking for “emergency plumber Raleigh” or “drain cleaning in Cary.” The stuff people actually search for when they’re ready to pay someone and not just Googling for fun.
“But My Competitor Is Ranking!”
Sure. And maybe they’ve been investing in SEO for 5 years. Maybe their uncle is Matt Cutts. Or maybe they got lucky and have a content wizard locked in their basement writing 2,000-word guides on water heater replacement.
Point is—you don’t know what went into their rankings. But I can guarantee it didn’t happen in a week. Comparing your brand new, five-page website to a company with five years of SEO history is like racing someone who started 10 miles ahead of you and saying, “We should be tied by Friday.”
Google’s Not Stupid
Google wants to show people the best results – well, and make the most money (but that’s not the topic today.) And “best” doesn’t mean “most recently optimized.” It means authoritative, trustworthy, relevant content from a site that’s clearly invested in helping users.
That’s not something you can fake. And it’s not something that magically clicks into place with a few title tag tweaks.
So when you call your SEO person three weeks in and ask why you’re still not ranking #1 for a keyword with 20,000 searches a month? Just know they’re silently screaming into a pillow.
Here’s What IS Reasonable
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3–6 months to start seeing movement (especially if your site’s new or has had zero SEO before)
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Specific longtail keywords to start ranking first (not the ultra-broad “I want to be found by everyone ever” stuff)
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Local map pack visibility if we’ve worked on citations, reviews, and GBP
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Content strategy that actually helps, not just repeats your business name 19 times on every page like it’s a chant
SEO is like farming. You prep the ground, plant the seeds, water the thing—and then you wait. Doesn’t matter how loudly you yell at it.
What to Do While You Wait
Since your website’s not going to rocket to the top overnight, here’s how you can actually help while your SEO person does their thing:
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Keep creating content. Yes, blogs still matter.
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Encourage reviews. Good ones. On Google. Not just from your mom.
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Be available. Answer emails. Approve edits. Don’t disappear for a month and then demand instant results when you return.
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Ask good questions. “How can we get more traffic for [specific service]?” is a great question. “Why am I not beating Home Depot yet?” is not.
And let’s review: Patience, Grasshopper
I get it. You’re excited. You want leads. You want visibility. You want to win. Good SEO can absolutely get you there—but it’s a process, not a magic wand.
If you hired someone honest who knows their stuff, give them the time and space to do it right. Don’t let impatience kill your progress.
And if someone else promised you #1 in a week?
…maybe ask how their Nigerian prince friend is doing too.
